Thanks for bringing these important issues to light! While Apple is usually known for a clean and intuitive experience, there is consensus that their parental controls need more work. Meanwhile, leaders in third-party parental controls like Bark, and Qustodio have a caveat saying there is only so much they can do on macOS and iOS. As an Apple user, software engineer and father of 3, I feel this gap and decided to do something about it. My research led me to find Gertrude for MacOS https://gertrude.app/ and led me to build LivingRoom for iOS. https://livingroomapp.com/
We used Microsoft Family with Team Viewer. This works for Android and Microsoft/Windows based devices.
Microsoft Family allows parents to block websites, gaming platforms and chat tools. It also allows parents to limit computer and smartphone usage to predetermined blocks of hours.
One discovery we made is that for Microsoft Family, by California law, if the child's age is 13 or older, they are allowed to modify the Microsoft Family options, which would then allow the child to circumvent all of the limits. We found out from discussions online that savvy Microsoft Family parent users actually lie and enter their child's age as 8 or similar. That then gives the parents four years of control over what sites the child or teen can go to. It seems ridiculous to me that we had to do this.
Beware of Discord. It allows encrypted chatting + video in hidden chat groups. If a child downloads this, and implements it (very easy to do), there is no way to get rid of it except to reformat the entire computer. It's like a virus. Some of the worst cases of online grooming have happened through Discord.
It is outrageous that parents are being asked to manage all this. Most people, those who don't have a high school aged child, have no idea how vulnerable and addicted a child or teen can become. They often say, well, "you shouldn't have given your child a smart phone or computer." They don't realize that the child has to be online and using a smartphone to manage their homework.
Even for parents with teenage children, they may not know what their children are viewing online or on their smartphones. It is surprising to me that many parents don't put it together that there is a connection between what their child is exposed to (porn, grooming, violent and sexually stereotypical gaming content) and their child's mental health. Often, by the time the parent does realize there is a problem, the teen already has a social media, gaming addiction or mental health crisis.
Even quite innocuous stuff on Tiktok and youtube can be problematic. For example, "catching" Tourettes syndrome on Tiktok or youtube:
All of this is far too much to ask of parents. The tech companies might be doing well by all of this, but I doubt the increased mental health costs are sustainable for state budgets.
Thank you so much for writing this! I'm giving a presentation on tech safety with the PTA this fall and I'm going to quote parts of this article.
Thanks for bringing these important issues to light! While Apple is usually known for a clean and intuitive experience, there is consensus that their parental controls need more work. Meanwhile, leaders in third-party parental controls like Bark, and Qustodio have a caveat saying there is only so much they can do on macOS and iOS. As an Apple user, software engineer and father of 3, I feel this gap and decided to do something about it. My research led me to find Gertrude for MacOS https://gertrude.app/ and led me to build LivingRoom for iOS. https://livingroomapp.com/
Thanks for the report on test driving Qustodio.
We used Microsoft Family with Team Viewer. This works for Android and Microsoft/Windows based devices.
Microsoft Family allows parents to block websites, gaming platforms and chat tools. It also allows parents to limit computer and smartphone usage to predetermined blocks of hours.
One discovery we made is that for Microsoft Family, by California law, if the child's age is 13 or older, they are allowed to modify the Microsoft Family options, which would then allow the child to circumvent all of the limits. We found out from discussions online that savvy Microsoft Family parent users actually lie and enter their child's age as 8 or similar. That then gives the parents four years of control over what sites the child or teen can go to. It seems ridiculous to me that we had to do this.
Beware of Discord. It allows encrypted chatting + video in hidden chat groups. If a child downloads this, and implements it (very easy to do), there is no way to get rid of it except to reformat the entire computer. It's like a virus. Some of the worst cases of online grooming have happened through Discord.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRCxGq4tvUo&t=2299s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sYnVuvEIKk
It is outrageous that parents are being asked to manage all this. Most people, those who don't have a high school aged child, have no idea how vulnerable and addicted a child or teen can become. They often say, well, "you shouldn't have given your child a smart phone or computer." They don't realize that the child has to be online and using a smartphone to manage their homework.
Even for parents with teenage children, they may not know what their children are viewing online or on their smartphones. It is surprising to me that many parents don't put it together that there is a connection between what their child is exposed to (porn, grooming, violent and sexually stereotypical gaming content) and their child's mental health. Often, by the time the parent does realize there is a problem, the teen already has a social media, gaming addiction or mental health crisis.
Even quite innocuous stuff on Tiktok and youtube can be problematic. For example, "catching" Tourettes syndrome on Tiktok or youtube:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/its-catching/202110/the-girls-who-caught-tourettes-tiktok
All of this is far too much to ask of parents. The tech companies might be doing well by all of this, but I doubt the increased mental health costs are sustainable for state budgets.